How To Stick Out Like A Sore Thumb (And Other Helpful Tips)

As much as possible I try to stay under the radar. Do my own thing, keep quiet, go with the flow.
I've worked out that this is more likely to happen here in Switzerland if I don't open my mouth. As long as I don't say anything, I'm safe. I just smile and nod. I look normal.
But, in case you were wondering how to not do this, I've got a few tips.

1.) Go to the Post Office and ask for a redirection form. They have many possibilities and you won't have a clue. But if by some miracle, and with a little help from overly emphatic gestures you manage to get the right one - you'll still be up the creek. Because then you actually have to fill the form out. It's like a multiple choice test in German - without the multiple choices.

2.) Look after MLF3 & friend on a play date. Friend can't speak any English, and we already know the extent of your German. When it is time for Friend to leave, instruct her to put her shoes on. She will then look at you confused and wave goodbye - Tschuss. Then, say, no - shoes. Emphasize the word too, if you want. Even use more gestures. She will still be confused and say goodbye to you again. Tschuss.

3.) Walk around with your IPod on, listening to podcasts of radio shows such as Hamish and Andy. You will laugh out loud in inappropriate places and wear a big grin and walk around chuckling to yourself. I suspect people will actually think you have problems.

4.) Ask the Swiss Assistant at the Travel Buro for help in booking your train tickets. She will look surprised when - A. You're booking only a few days in advance and B. You want to leave the country.
Why would you ever want to holiday anywhere other than SwissLand and Why would you not be more organized that? What were you thinking?

5.) Leave it til the last minute to catch your last train home. Then decide you absolutely must have a cheeseburger. You can then run at full speed through the station yelling Excuse Me! and Coming Through! Bag, coat, wallet in one hand and cheeseburger in the other. People will look angry, frustrated or annoyed, but really they're just jealous that they didn't think to get a cheeseburger. Trust me.



You can thank me later.