"A Series of Unfortunate Events." by MissInformed.

I'm still seething.
I'm trying to forget an unfortunate experience in which I was misled, misinformed and mistreated.

Ticket please?

I've been asked to show my ticket quite a few times already on the train since I arrived less than a month ago. The other day the ticket inspector came up to me out of nowhere and said something.
I didn't what he said because I had my IPod on. And I wouldn't have understood him anyway.
I speak English. I wish I had a sticker on my forehead that said this.
I took my earphones out of my ears, and said 'My ticket?'
And he said with a deadpan voice but a disapproving face, 'You can't buy a ticket on a train.'
I fished out my ticket and showed it to him. I think he was disappointed that I had one.


I'm still trying to work out the travel system but thankfully I've been ticket-equipped so far.
Until now.

On Tuesday night I met up with a few other au pairs at the Irish Pub for St Patrick's Day. I think it's the only one in the Zurich City area and it was packed.
All was well.
I left at about 10:30 because it would take me a good 40 mins to get home and I was pretty tired.
I left the pub and was glad to see Tram #2 waiting outside. I jumped on.
I was too glad.
It was about 4 stops later that I realized that Tram #2 was going in the opposite direction to what I wanted.
This was just ticking over in my head when Inspector Ticket got on board the tram. He was closely accompanied by Sidekick Einstein. (I call him this for his looks only! - not his brains)

Inspector Ticket made his way to me and asked for my ticket. I was on the mark though this time and knew what he was wanting. I am clever.
I fished out my Gleis7 and handed it to him.

-Now, a Gleis7 is a pass I purchased when I first arrived. It is valid for a year and allows me to travel after 7pm for free.
-When you purchase a ticket during the day, this ticket is valid for trains, planes and automobiles. Actually not, but it is valid for trains, trams, boats and buses.

Wrong Assumption #1: Gleis7 is also valid for trains, trams, boats and buses.
Wrong Assumption #2: This would all be over very quickly and I could get off this wrong Tram and start heading in the right direction.

Inspector Ticket informed me that I Gleis7 is not valid for trams and then started to get his things together for a ticket.
It was at this point that I should have started crying. You know, for sympathy. But I don't know how to cry in German.

It was about this point that Sidekick Einstein entered the scene. He was sort of mumbling to himself and laughing every now and then.
Inspector Ticket kept dropping his papers and ticket machine and things and swearing.
And it was English. I could understand exactly what he was saying. Now he speaks English.

It took forever to fine me. And it felt longer because I was still heading in the wrong direction. All the while Inspector Ticket is swearing and Sidekick Einstein is laughing somewhat hysterically. It was kind of a quiet hysterical laugh.
Then I realized: I think he is drunk. Sidekick Einstein drunk on the job.

And I'm still heading in the wrong direction. They finally give me the ticket which I stuffed into my purse and haven't pulled out since. And I hopped off at the next stop. Good riddance!
And found myself in the middle of nowhere.

I started walking back to the previous tram stop - hoping it would be bigger than this one. There were a number of crazy people around and I was pretty keen to get home.
I walked fast.
And bought a ticket at the next stop. Ha! Not falling for that one again!

Tram #2 finally made its way in the right direction and it seemed slower than normal. It always does when you have that one last train of the night to catch and if you miss it, you're walking.

Well I missed the train by 30 seconds but thankfully there was one more 1/2 hour later. Phew.
So I sat in Maccas and drowned my sorrows in a cheeseburger.
And caught the train home for free with my Gleis7.
So there, Ticket Inspector. Take that and don't drop it.