I'm not a fan of telling stories that, um, reflect no-so-well on me. So, for that purpose, today I've got a story about Pippi.
Pippi was so glad it was Friday night. It had been long week and she was looking forward to the weekend - she had plans to visit the tallest mountain in all of Europe.
But first - a costume party!
She was going to go as, uh, Pippi Longstocking, and despite feeling slightly unwell, dressed up as, ahem, herself. A friend of hers dropped by on her way to same party and also became Pippi Longstocking.
And off they went - catching the train to the city where they would dazzle everyone with their - ah, long stockings.
Until Kylie, I mean Pippi, continued to feel more and more unwell. Quite nauseous and capable of projectile vomit.
The pair of Pippi's arrived at their destination, and after taking a small walk in the hope of giving Pippi#1 some fresh air, decided that they really should head back home.
On a side note, you would be very surprised how many people will stare at you when you are dressed up as Pippi Longstocking. Pippi#1 was so glad that she had been unable to make bendy wire stick in the long plaits.
Oh so glad.
They sat down to wait for their train and spent their time discussing where it would be best, should be the need arise, to throw up. On the train tracks? Or in the rubbish bin? The Pippi's were divided on this issue.
Finally their train came and they boarded and sought seats near the toilet. Just in case. Although, by this time, you should know that it was highly likely.
There were none and so Pippi collapsed on the steps of the train.
*Side note: Ticket-checkers will NOT check your ticket if you look white or green. Or perhaps if you are dressed up as Pippi Longstockings with your head between your knees.
Pippi would like you to know that there is nothing quite so undignified as throwing up into the toilet of a moving train dressed up as Pippi Longstockings.
Or as the Ticket Inspectors asking if you were pregnant. Me? said Pippi. I'm just a kid!
Unfortunately Pippi was unable to visit the highest mountain in all of Europe that weekend but hopes to in the future. Instead, she spent her weekend studying the causes and statistics of why she is far more likely to get sick on the weekend when she doesn't have to work.
She promises to publish any future findings.