What I Would Do If I Had No Money

This Blog is Entitled: What I Would Do If I Had No Money.

Wait - I don't have any money.

In that case, I want to tell you what I've done with no money. A little over one year ago, I arrived in Switzerland with, well, about $500. I'd bought a plane ticket and signed up for a new family.

(Nothing wrong with the old one, by the way. Hey, guys!)

I've since spent that $500 - most likely all on Swiss chocolate (Hey, Lindt!) and a number of other monetary chunks that arrived in my bank account courtesy of the Swiss family (Hey, Swiss fam! - wait, I hope you are NOT reading this).

Now, I want to make it clear that I did work for the money. Some people have mistakenly assumed that I've been on holidays for the last year (Hey guys! Nope!)

But, one vacuum fades into the next and I can make beds in my sleep now (1.3 seconds) and I'm now at the end of a year that I only started with $500.

$500 + Bed-making + Vacuuming + a whole bunch of other work =

The most amazing year in Switzerland. And a whole lot of other places. Travel & Adventure & Having to step outside of myself to be able to see everything a bit clearer. New friends & the chance to be a part of this whole other world.

And 7,000 photos. I am NEVER going to be able to sort through all of that.

Pretty sweet deal eh? All of that on $500+...

Perhaps I should title this blog: How I survived in Switzerland (home of the most expensive Big Mac in the world) on $500.

'Sup Girlfren?

On the way to school yesterday morning, MLF3 narrowly missed stepping in some, ah, doggy doo. This is not normal - we are in Switzerland after all. It is the world's cleanest country (also home of the most expensive Big Mac in the world, but that's another story).

But then she spent the rest of the trip explaining to me how on our walks to and from school, she would look out for me, and I should look out for her, and then neither of us would step in anything.
I think she wanted to say Sisterhood, but she just didn't know it in English. Then we could say things like, 'Sup, Girlfren' to each other.

Needless to say, we didn't find any more doggy doo on our trip but as we neared school she cried, Achtung!

Whew - nearly stepped on a cigarette butt. Close call.


{Same little friend also spent 10 minutes last night trying to sound out YMCA.}

Tourist-ing it up with the Sound of Music! (Salzburg)

The hills were alive with the Sound of Music in Salzburg last weekend.

I probably should start this blog with a warning. I'm not going to pretend that the Sound of Music setting didn't form rather a large part of wanting to visit this Austrian city - it was.
I admit it.
And so I took the tour. Had I know about it, I would have also taken the Fraulein Maria's cycling tour of Salzburg where you sing your way through the city.
(Seriously, there is such a tour!)

And so, WARNING: Some Spoilers may follow. Also, some references to the Sound of Music.


We spent a lovely 33 hours in Salzburg and I took in the biggest gulp I could.
These hours included, but were not limited to:


Reinforcing my hardcore status. Rain with lighting bolt symbols was the forecast for the weekend. Undeterred, Steph (my accomplice) and I decided we would go hardcore and see everything anyway. We bought awesome yellow ponchos to support our hardcore status.



Climbing every mountain and fording every stream.


Visiting Mozart's birth house. He was born in Salzburg (but rumour has it that he wasn't too fond of the town).


Meeting Mozart. 'Cept he was the younger, more hip version of Mozart. He even had an IPod, and he juggled, did some interpretive dance, and fire-twirled to the music. He is pictured here with his IPod.



Following every rainbow, and searching high and low.


Embracing tourism and the Lonely Planet. I would just like to take a short moment to give thanks with a grateful heart to Lonely Planet, without whom I would have been lost on the weekend. (Oh, and for Steph - great map following!)


Eating Lonely Planet recommendations. Living in Zurich really limits my eating-out possibilities (hence the 'I could live off cheeseburgers' label) and on the weekend I got to eat.so.much.good.stuff. Who would have thought Italian Restaurant owner with credentials from the Love Boat could make such good Pizza? Who could have known that the all natural-vegetarian-vegan-organic-bio-healthy-kill-me-now Indian Restaurant would be so good?
Lonely Planet, I lift my glass of water to you!


Singing 'These are a few of my favourite things' whilst eating Italian ice cream x 3.


Smiling for Japanese(?) tourists in the Mirrabel Gardens. As featured in the Sound Of Music. We did not share a common language, and so when they gestured towards me with their camera I assumed they wanted me to take a photo of them.

However, it soon became clear that this was not the case. I was dragged into their photo (I still have the bruise marks on my arm to prove it!) and made to smile. Seriously. And then a line started to form....and a new bunch of people surrounded me and grabbed my arm held on tight. I saw my life flash before my eyes and knew I had to get out of there. I think maybe they thought I was Julie Andrews. My singing did kind of sound like her. And I was doing all the right dance moves in the correct places around the garden so I guess it was an easy mistake to make.

Uncanny resemblance.....?






Practicing my moves for the Sound of Music 2. Here I am doing my audition piece on the water fountain. Unfortunately, Steph cut me out of the picture, but you get the idea.



Listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack on the bus as we drove through the hills out of Salzburg. It was just one of those ironic moments in life where you just want to laugh at yourself. A year ago? - I never would have dreamt that I'd be living in Switzerland, on a weekend trip to Salzburg, on a Sound of Music bus, listening to 'How do you solve a problem like Maria....'


Seeing all the places from the movie was pretty cool. You may not be able to see it, but behind my head, Julie Andrews -aka Maria Von Trapp - and the kids are falling out of the boat and Gretl is almost drowning because she didn't know how to swim. You may not also be able to see it because it may have happened 45 years ago.




Biking along the Salzburg River during the late evening. We had to wait until almost 1AM for our train, and so why wait at the train station when you can ride along the river? I love the summer months when it stays light for so much longer!




And, at the end of the 33 hours, it was time for the train home. Rather unfortunately, a supposedly sweet older lady was sleeping in my reserved seat. (Unreserved seats are never mentally the same!) Also unfortunately, it was 1AM and, unfortunately, I was feeling too nice. In the spirit of the unfortunate I think she slept the whole trip. I know this because I didn't. She was also warm under her blanket. (Note to self: Bring blanket next time!)

So Long, Farewell Salzburg!

Why Does This Always Happen To Me?

So last night I was coming home from a weekend in Vevey.
It had been such a good weekend, but I was rather tired.
I had been on a gigantic hike and seen so many amazing views that my eyes were tired.

I finally arrived in HB and after a slight detour to the cheeseburger factory (aka MacDonalds) I made it to my platform and waited for my train.

Did you know that people judge you if you get a Happy Meal from MacDonalds and you're not a kid?
Seriously, they do. I can't quite explain the look, but I can see their eyes go from me to the happy meal back to my face and then to my really cool shoes. Actually, they would look at my really cool shoes if I had any.

Size 41 people. Give me your really cool size 41 shoes.

From the cashier at McD's to the lady walking her horse through HB they all give me this disapproving look. It's like I've stolen their kid's meal or something.
(Ok maybe it wasn't a horse - it could have been a giant dog).

And the cashier gave me a boy's toy. Do I look like a boy?

I got on my train. I had my IPod on and Why Does This Always Happen To Me by Weird Al came on. Don't judge me; it just came on.

Why Does It Always Happen To Me video clip (some violent scenes)

It's funny, you've got to admit. He starts off with lamenting how this earthquake killed all these people in Peru and then breaks into song about how that news update on TV interrupted the Simpsons.

My train left HB and got to the next station and we sat there for a while. And then it started to go back the way it came! I was like, Noooooo.....!
I started banging on the door and hitting the windows but it would not let me off.

Turns out they were fixing something further down the line and I couldn't take the train home. Instead I had to take the tram and then the train.
I was pretty grumpy about this. Not happy Jan. This added more than an hour onto my trip and I wouldn't get home til midnight, luckily catching the last train home, but only just.

But then I had to laugh at myself. Here I was thinking Why does this always happen to me? when really, it doesn't. And there are bigger things to be grumpy about.

Like getting a boy's toy in my Happy Meal.